Our brother Bob mentioned in passing that he would like us to comment on several frivolous notions that are found in the scores of "new age" websites. It is my honor to do so.

Myth #1: Were Earth to be destroyed, it would severely impact the universe.

This is a fairly common "urban legend" amongst the purveyors of alien mythology. Apparently, their "contacts" claim that Earth is the focal point of creation, and were it to destroy itself, the universe would collapse. These stories can be compared to the solarbanite (or solaranite, depending on who says it) of Plan Nine from Outer Space.

One hates to rain on their parade, but if your planet were to vanish, the universe would not notice its passing. Worlds have been rendered lifeless or destroyed by natural cataclysms such as nova bursts and black holes for billions of years.

The Alliance and Confederation would note the event, but the universe would go on.

Myth #2: Aliens are afraid of humans.

This is a relatively rare assertion, but diligent searching can find it. It is more often implied than stated. To be sure, the intended purpose of the Omegan presence on Earth was to shape your people into a fear-inspiring interstellar war machine. That evil goal has largely been kiboshed (I do like that word), so the dire goal of the Omegans is no longer a serious concern. You are thus not a significant peril to any other civilization.

There are some who advise wariness about your innately warlike nature, which was one of the major factors that made you of interest to the Omegans. Their concerns have value, but the arguments that it is a rationale for isolating your world from the rest of the galaxy have been shelved by both the Alliance and the Confederation.

Myth #3: Aliens need human aid in the quest for bringing a final peace to Earth.

We have addressed this notion before, but since it remains prevalent in the ramblings of many "channeled" messages found on numerous websites, it warrants another comment.

This is what you are expected to believe: Earth is under the watch of various godlike beings in massive spaceships (or "lightships", whatever that means), in charge of fleets of crafts numbering in the thousands if not millions, who cannot do anything for Earth unless the handful of visitors to "new age" websites get involved.

I do hope that you will pardon me when I say that the premise is so utterly absurd that only new-age true believers can swallow it. The only conceivable rationale for that nonsense is that the "channels" know that they are peddling utter hogwash, for example, the sites that each proclaim to be Ashtar's official voice. They are attempting to maintain their credibility by providing excuses for Ashtar et al not doing anything to bring about the ends that they so volubly promote, despite having the alleged power to move in en masse and take over Earth.

Our advice is to treat these claims with skepticism, if not scorn. The "We are helpless without you!" aliens exist only in the minds of the "channels" who write that vacuous drivel.

Myth #4: The use of terms such as "vibration" to mystify the readers.

While composing this section, I looked over a few "Ashtar" sites, the most common of the genre. Strewn through that dreck are the standard buzzwords.

The Light: This is the standard term for the good guys in these melodramas. This undefined force supposedly has almost deific power, except when it comes to actually doing something to improve Earth's lot.

We of Korendor use the expression, "Va i luce!" Translated, it means, "Go in light!" This refers to knowledge, understanding, wisdom and peace. It has nothing whatever to do with "the Light" of the new-age lore.

Spiritual: The hundreds if not thousands of appearances of this word serve as notice that the aliens are not physical beings by your definition, ergo your highly sophisticated detection technologies can't find those thousands of vessels that purportedly hang around your little blue marble. Being spiritual covers a lot of arguments against their existence.

"If Earth is surrounded by alien spaceships, why can't we see them?"
"Well, that's because they are spiritual, on a higher plane, and therefore undetectable."

We know what is up there. Ashtar and his mystical, magical space fleet are not.

Vibration: Apparently this is a catch-all word referring to levels of existence and awareness. Sheldan Nidle's website "explained" it as follows:

That humans vibrate at different rates has transcended the hippy realm to become part of our common idiom. We all know the difference between good or bad vibes! But what exactly does it mean?

Now think of a radio. When you tune it into a band width of, for example 88.9 MHz, you’ll hear the sounds associated with that station. If you were to tune your radio to 102.5 MHz you’ll hear a new station. The old station is still transmitting vibrations but all you hear is the new station you’ve tuned into.

The vibratory rate you experience is the rate to which you’re tuned. When you tune into a higher vibration you’ll find yourself experiencing a higher vibrational world that matches your upliftment. The lower vibrations may still exist but your focus is elsewhere.

I would suppose that one must be a true believer to grasp what that strange comparison means. Just treat "vibration" as one of those words that new-agers must use at least once a day in order to be in tune with the Light.

Ascension/Ascend: Nidle's site tap-danced around this one on a page titled, What does Ascension really mean?

What does Ascension really mean? I don't think one answer can fully justify this topic.

Two paragraphs later, after using "ascend" three times, the reader is left without an answer to the question, "What does Ascension really mean?"

One gathers from assorted pages that "ascend" and "ascension" refer to increasing one's "vibrations". It's another of those terms that one must use frequently or be thought a new-age newbie.

The above refers to commonly used terms found on new-age websites. They are loaded to the rafters with jargon and mantras and fatuity, with meaningless, stock-in-trade rhetoric that sounds lofty and important — until one seeks useful information in them, and finds himself on the proverbial snipe hunt.

This is not a condemnation of the sites. One is free to believe anything, whether it's factual or fanciful. They are totally harmless entertainment. If nothing else, the sites give cynical visitors a modicum of amusement on otherwise dull days. Visit them and enjoy the refreshing escape from reality.

Peace, my brother. Va i luce.